Align with inner security in life’s uncertain and unknown places.
I am beginning to feel secure and confident in who I am in ways I never imagined. I may get jolted from time to time, but I am able to bring myself back to a feeling of being centered.
I am beginning to feel secure in my pain, knowing I am moving into acceptance of what life brings to me and releasing limitations to my heart’s and soul’s intentions.
I am beginning to feel secure in not knowing and uncertainty. Knowing that God, the Universe, my Higher Power has a plan for me and is always taking care of me. If I can sit and be still in the uncertainty and not knowing what is to come, more will be revealed when I am ready.
This has been my mission – which is being revealed to me little by little. One thing I have really suffered with in my life is damaged self-esteem. I have consistently sought approval from outside sources, the people and relationships I’ve been in, about the money I’ve made or haven’t made, and the work I do.
One thing I can be certain about is people are all inconsistent, myself included. I do my best to stay aligned with my truth, but I have conditioning that gets triggered by what life brings me.
Money – I have certainly had a great deal of loss around money in the past 5 years or so, as many people have experienced.
Career – many people identify with their title, or how much money they make, as if their self-esteem is
dependent on it or their worth comes from what they do. It’s easy to think “I should be this or that title by now, …by this age I should be something other than I am, …and so on.”
I have experienced a great deal of loss of my identities in these areas. But what I have found as a result
of this loss is myself. I believe we all know in this day and age that there’s plenty of uncertainty and when we are constantly reacting to external circumstances, we can go insane!
What I have discovered through my losses is a sense of security I can never find from external
circumstances. One thing that I know is consistent is change. How can we ride life’s waves of change and
stay centered? By knowing that God is completely taking care of us.
For me, it is my unwavering spiritual practice. How I know when a painful experience comes up, it is a
blessing and not an inconvenience. I do my best to find gifts in the experience. This reveals more of me by making friends with and accepting my pain. Believe me, it’s not always easy. I have been an expert on distracting myself or avoiding a situation. The more I seem to avoid it, the worse it seems to get. It’s not that God is trying to punish me, it’s just that I’m not paying attention.
Now in life – I have an experience and pain is triggered. What do I do?
- I am aware of my experience and what I am feeling. I breathe, I write, I meditate and sit with my feelings and thoughts. I share with those I feel safe with. I participate in supportive communities.
- As I sit with the pain, I gradually move into acceptance of what I am feeling.
- I become aware of the place in between creation, the void. While I move into acceptance, I am naturally letting go of the old, going through a transformation, and the new begins to come into creation.
- This point is critical – I may still be experiencing emotional or even physical pain.
- It can feel tremendously unsettling. Energy feels like it’s whirling around me, the energy of the old dissipating and creation happening.
- This is the place where I have gotten impatient in the past – I can feel the new, but it’s not yet in physical manifestation. I may have insights; I know it’s coming. “But where is it?!?!”
- The old can be so painful, this clinging onto what is known, but I am still moving into acceptance of my feelings and experience.
- Again, it is critical to sit through this, be with this time and make friends with my pain.
Then it happens – the most incredible experience, alignment with truth, I no longer need to know what and how Life will happen. I am aware of a peace, contentment and security that are present within me (they are always there, it’s whether I am aware or not). There is no title, no amount of money in the bank, no relationship that will bring me this feeling. This feeling only comes from my connection to God, my Higher Power, my consciousness.
God takes care of me. This seemingly painful experience is beautiful. It has caused me to go deep within my pain and find the light that is already within me.
I am aware that I share my experience again and again, and it may sound the same or similar. This is because it is truly a way of life for me, my practice and way of being. I get it, I forget, I get it again. I remember, my connection grows deeper and deeper. Because this is my way of life, I now know no experience is too painful and with my unwavering knowing, I know God is always taking care of me in every experience.
I know with certainty what to do when the time is right. Until then, I sit with and make friends with the pain. My self-esteem, confidence and sense of security are not dependent on external circumstances. They come from within, from my connection to God, my Higher Power, all that is. I align with Genuine Self-Confidence.